riiiise UP

Sun, Nov. 22nd, 2015 10:14 pm
still_intrepid: (liet)
Good things: Haircut!  Parents + brother visiting!  (and installing a new kitchen cupboard, yay~)  Screencaps from the Grunwald episode AHHhh.  (this makes me want to do some sort of lietpol things, but, like, in an undefined way.)

Other things: errghhh there are a bunch of non-uni-work busy things I need to do, some of which kinda snuck up.  Concert series stuff (a lot of it), two choirs' worth of Christmas build-up and first-year assessments in a couple weeks, and all this kinda expands to take up All The Time...  What I really need to get on with, of course, is finishing a decent bit of music and seeing my supervisor (annoying circumstances happened and he had to cancel, but that was nearly month ago; emails back and forth and then he was still busy with stuff and never replied and then I sort of let it drop which I shouldn't, but now of course I feel like I need to have a lot more to present. Aaand I keep getting distracted/finding stuff isn't as quick to write as I want when I do get on to it.  The usual.)

I've been bitten by the Hamilton musical bug, did I say?  Majorly going round in my head!!  Wasn't sure about it at first and now I'm listening to Aaron Burr, Sir / My Shot multiple times on repeat before moving on. 


Sun, Nov. 15th, 2015 05:07 pm
still_intrepid: (Default)
Welllll, except for the part where I got up at, um, around 11 this morning and kept falling asleep at the piano, today has had several good points.

I really like the new manuscript paper!  and am using it.  (There's nothing particularly strange or exciting about it!  Although, actually, I was surprised by how far apart the staves were and how they're slightly narrower, but actually this seems better.  So, maybe will adapt the spacing for the next round of hetalia manuscript paper if I make it...)

Going to see if I can type up this one part of oboe & piano piece before improv tonight.

I made myself the most epic of grilled cheese for lunch, and caramel hot chocolate.

family style

Fri, Oct. 16th, 2015 11:51 pm
still_intrepid: (Default)
 Today the  five of us sat around after work eating food at tables and drinking wine (almost as if we'd gone to a restaurant instead of working in one ^^ … and were those annoying people who stay REALLY LATE all by themselves) and it was really nice. Normally I think I'd just expect I'd prefer to just go home but they're a really nice bunch. And Fran and I played guess the tune with soundtracks and classical throughout service :)

(no subject)

Fri, Sep. 11th, 2015 03:25 pm
still_intrepid: (Default)
 sent an email that I have been half-meaning to for, like... five months?  

I think I deserve more than 7 pieces of gold for that, Habit, no?  (Still that is a lot for a to-do, nice we are on a boss quest!)

things to do

Wed, Sep. 9th, 2015 08:52 pm
still_intrepid: (basil)
Made cannelloni yesterday!! OM NOM NOM.  Very nice and not difficult or even that time-consuming; don't know why I've put this off years since the last time I cooked it.....

also tidied up more - my parents are bringing a record cabinet/bookshelf from their clearout which will be nice and I've made space - we really have too much stuff though!  Also I guess I am still totally procrastinating, ugh.

played violin and oboe today -- speaking of: Vivaldi, lol, this is supposed to be an oboe piece right? not a violin with a nice rocking-bow flddling technique? do you MIND?  Eh, it's fun!  I shall get there!  This piece.  I've just barely started.

Some problems/lots-to-organise things around and abouts...
Read more... )


Mon, Sep. 7th, 2015 03:45 pm
still_intrepid: (camille)
Good intentions & Plans for Organising One's Life(tm) are tricksy things...!

Anyway, to update quickly on how that's going.  I'm trying to be positive at least about the fact that I actually went for a run today which I hadn't since, like, before I left for Edinburgh.  And if I didn't go more than 3-some k (not sure, but I'm pretty sure there's 2k marker I use that I hadn't passed, unless it's been rubbed out, so that would have been the 4) and even *gasp* walked for a bit in the middle, that's okay because I'm getting back into it and I do know from experience I can get much better if I keep it up.  Also made some headway on the piano Plan and as I said before enjoying the violin greatly.  Sent some emails but unfortunately they were replied to quickly and I now have MORE emails.

Finally got around to planning for the lesson I'm teaching later which... again is good, but of course it took up a lot more time than would be ideal.  Sooooo, since being in Bristol I haven't really touched any real music Work beyond writing up the notes I got at my last supervision last term. 

Have to meet up with about three sets of people this week, not all of whom are being communicative, and that's going to mess up my Plan!  *grumbly noises*

Also going to have a really good go at organising food better again, and cooking at least half the time so we can have leftovers.  So, this week we had tomato & butterbean soup yesterday (SOUP SEASON! hallelujah!), and we're going to have cannelloni tomorrow or the next day, aaaand I've lost my bit of paper that said what we are having Thursday.

Aaand Xana and I are watching Steven Universe again.  We're somewhere near the end of the first season I think.  I really like it -- remember watching the very first episode (or 2?) and being like "....this is kind of cute but WHAT is it it's also kind of awkward??" but now it's gotten really good.  I think Lion is my favourite ^^  Also it's doing this thing not so much as "light plot now and then" as "MASSIVE HUGE AND EPIC PLOT now and then".  I just really like when cartoons spend about 30 seconds on Serious/Emotional Issues and it's very lovely or intense -- as opposed to a live action show with 50 minutes to fill spending like half that time making the same point.  or FairyTail, to be fair ;; Much as I love all the Power of Friendship stuff, it takes hours to get anywhere with that show!

Singing lesson and choir later ... not really in the mood (I'm in charge ^^) but as ever I know I'm quite often like that and it's fine or even really exciting in the event.

A Place of Greater Safety is being adapted on the radio!  I'm ....... actually not sure what I think of it so far -- would be interested to see if anyone who hasn't read the book is following!  They seem to have aged-up (mentally & socially anyway?) Lucile quite a bit and made Annette less alluring and more ineffective and flapping by comparison, but maybe I'm remembering the book wrong.  Frequent R4 problem that a lot of the guys sound reeeally similar ahhh I could not tell which was Camille for too long ;;
still_intrepid: (romano)
...Apparently we're meeting at the absurd hour of 10am tomorrow morning for this rehearsal/auditioning newbies day.  ABSURD hour, I say.  (Because it's a ways' away too, I mean...  Otherwise I would still complain but not feel at all reasonable in doing so ^^;)


Sat, Feb. 28th, 2015 11:16 pm
still_intrepid: (Default)
Startling news: today went pretty much to plan. 


Sun, Feb. 22nd, 2015 12:18 pm
still_intrepid: (Default)
I think I really must be short on sleep.  I've completely forgotten my PIN to log on to internet banking.  (Which I've been doing regularly for years.)  It's just.  Gone. I have a sort of idea what it's close to but I'm not sure why it would be that and not what I just tried!  I.  Am going to try again tomorrow maybe, hopefully it will have magically come back into my brain.  
still_intrepid: (avalanche)
That's what it kind of feels like sometimes?  Like, plonk, here is some GLOOM on you for no especial reason.

Meh.  What would really really help is to feel like I'm making progress on this piece I'm trying to write -- the last couple days I have tried in a more focussed way but I still have really no idea of the shape of the finished thing so it's hard.  

Work was super-busy (and so I was really annoyed and everyone and everything for a bit there but honestly I don't really feel that anymore, so that's fine), choir yesterday was sort of mixed, I'm still staying up way late and sleeping in and I've got many emails and adminny things still to attend to -- well all that doesn't really amount to much, does it?  

Presentation - which ended up being super duper short - on Tuesday went fine in the event, did I say?  And I got two absolutely lovely reviews on a fic so that's good.  I'm violinning a bit more again, should keep that up.  And listening to new music, which, again, should/could spend many more hours on where does the time actually in fact go?  

Also listening to videos of blackbirds singing!  For composing reasons, but actually tis really calming.....  here!

Ugh, I dunno.  Again.  All I need to do is get out of this rut for a few days and get some work in and I'll feel much better, but the thing is I'm always saying this and doing this.  And it's not crunch time yet but I do need to get a move on deadline-wise at some point, and I think, Well surely you wouldn't let all this time slip by without getting stuff done, and yet.   I am tremendously good at self-sabotage, guh.  (It's a cycle, yeah, like I feel kind of lonely but I also feel too stressed to see people!)

(no subject)

Tue, Feb. 3rd, 2015 02:27 pm
still_intrepid: (mendelssohn)
I really wish I hadn't stayed up til 4am yesterday sort-of-working on a proposal for a thing... (I was working on it but I should have been all done by, like, 1.)  Hm, I hope I get it - I have no idea what proposal for a composition is supposed to be like, really; having talked to people it seems like programme notes only more so, and they're not my favourite either.  I had a real long lie-in this morning though so hopefully I can pretend none of it happened and have no excuse for falling asleep this afternoon.

So..... this has been looming for a while: I have a meeting with my supervisor Friday and not a proper plan of what I'm going to talk about with him -- still sort of intend to write two whole new things in the next couple days.  But!  Have a (I think?) really workable idea for one of them.  So.  Going to go into department before seminar and try to bash out a bunch of it in the piano room, assuming I don't fall asleep. Coffee flask.  Mmkay.  

I also 'redid' my website, which is to say basically took it all down and stuck up a "come back soon anyway here's soundcloud" notice.  Listened to a bunch of old things in the progress and again lamented my (not-so)-recent crisis of confidence about everything...  Actually, I think I can recognize that I'm always feeling this mix/alternation of "hey that's awesome" and "i'm a complete failure"..  But also I think there is something that I used to be more just 'go for it' in my attitude and I need to feel able to do that, not just when I'm running out of time!

speaking of music and that, I wrote a passacaglia week and a bit ago.


Sun, Jan. 11th, 2015 10:01 pm
still_intrepid: (chibitalia)
Pfffft, am a silly billy, it went really well.  So I got a really clear hearing of how my piece sounded and it was very like I planned.  Thinking about it, I did try to fit an awful lot in my 7 minutes, maybe too much, but on the other hand, that was kind of the point. 

Course, this was not until after I'd had a mini meltdown about what on earth to wear because nothing looked right or felt right and what impression did I want to give and why did everything look like an office or otherwise bad etc etc etc....... so, uh, now gonna clean my room from all the clothes I threw around :)

Find of the concert for me I think was Gate by Graham Fitkin, which was v. exciting and energetic!

ETA: HAHAHA, writing entries on a kindle is hilarious.  "on the other java"! yes, that's an idiom.
still_intrepid: (Default)
For the last few days, since being back in Bristol, I've been getting up early (for me) and going to this research students conference.  Aaand today is Sunday and I stayed in bed till 12. Never mind.  

The conference was kind of interesting!  I mean, the overall experience. The papers were a mix of really interesting to not that interesting. It was a real mix of topics, and I'm not a musicologist anyway so it was quite nice just to be able to listen to the things and Learn a few Things in the abstract without needing to. Also since my uni was hosting this year it was free and since it was free I didn't feel I had to attend every single thing I possibly could.

Some of my favourites were a paper on presentation of death in Nazi and Stalinist cinema in the 30s-40s (broadly: do not show it directly, and like jump cut away immediately to a montage of the glorious collective victory, spectacle music rather than identifier..); this composer Ambrogio Minoja who did very well out of all the rapidly switching regimes in Napoleonic era Milan (also I'm now kinda interested to look into there/republican cisalpina in general); and Atomic Bomb Music in Japan, and how, according to the speaker, it's been a little absent from scholarship when it actually has some different perspectives.

See?? Quite a variorum. ...although now I look at that list, they're all the kind of political ones.

Anyway. We also had a concert yesterday with Schola Cantorum (dept women's choir that sings basically medieval chant or very contemporary stuff!), singing for student compositions including mine. And it went really well :) like, not completely perfect and one moment was a little scary BUT I'm still really happy, to me it sounded the most convincing and expressive we've done it.  

...and the I went to hear a rehearsal for the sax and piano piece that's being played in a concert today and that pretty much killed my good mood dead.  It sounded really bitty and incoherent and I feel like the performers didn't really like the piece, and where I'd been pleased with what I'd written last term I was thinking ugh maybe it doesn't make sense, why'd I do that, etc etc.  However. I am holding on to the fact that it was a rehearsal, and the end of the session, and they were tired, and they will want the piece to sound good.  Also that I've had this same experience before, in September; went to hear the rehearsal, not great at all, wondered how I'd written such apparently difficult but also inane sounding music. Got really sad and stressed out and various things, started crying uncontrollably in the car with my parents who thought it was their fault for telling me to look p eople in the eye and not mumble... and then in the concert itself or was pretty much fine. 

So. I'm gonna go with that's what will happen tonight. Just waiting for my family to get here for lunch now, should be a nice afternoon.

This... makes our sound like I just have people perfo rming my pieces alllll the time...  yeah, no, this is an unusual weekend! I'd like to think that if that was the case I'd have gotten a bit more used to the experience...

(no subject)

Sun, Feb. 16th, 2014 08:04 am
still_intrepid: (Default)
 Extremely random, but I got a bunch new socks and underwear for Christmas and they still make me happy :D  (Plus, keeping my clothes drawers organised is the one thing I've managed since new years, so that's good..)

Also I've just remembered I had a really vivid dream about ice skating... ahh, I miss that, actually -- I did it every week until ... I don't even know, early secondary school?? til I ran out of basic classes.  I wasn't especially good and could barely dare to do spins ^^  In my dream I kept falling over!  But, I'd quite like to go again but there's no rink nearby anymore.

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